Retroactive jealousy refers to a person’s distress or perceived threat about their partner’s past romantic relationships.
A tinge of jealousy in a relationship is expected when a partner feels a threat to the relationship.
However, jealousy can be problematic when it becomes a pattern ofobsessive thoughts or compulsive behaviors.
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Read on to learn more about what triggers retroactive jealousy and how to overcome it in your relationship.
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What Is Retroactive Jealousy?
Romantic jealousy shows up when a partner perceives a threat to their relationship by a third party.
Normal Jealousy vs.
Retroactive Jealousy
Curiosity about a partner’s past relationships is normal.
Typical feelings of jealousy are momentary and pass without causing harm to the relationship.
However, severe retroactive jealousy can mimic OCD, which is a mental health condition.
Obsessive thoughts about a partner’s past can become all-consuming.
What if Your Partner Has Retroactive Jealousy?
First and foremost, both of you must recognize that retroactive jealousy is their issue, not yours.
It has nothing to do with anything you are doing or have done in your past.
Without this recognition, little is going to help.
You must alsoknow your boundaries, communicate them clearly to your partner, and insist they be respected.
Coping With Retroactive Jealousy
Managing retroactive jealousy depends on the extent of the problem.
However, it’s essential to understand that jealousy is your issue, not theirs.
A mental health professional can help you look for the underlying issues and find ways to address them.
Treatments for retroactive jealousy can share features of treatment approaches to OCD.
Can Retroactive Jealousy Be Cured?
Recognizing that retroactive jealousy is their issue and not their partner’s issue is the first step.
Taking responsibility and seeking care can help the person find the underlying reason for the jealousy.
Retroactive jealousy can involve obsessive, intrusive, persistent thoughts and/or compulsive behaviors.
People with retroactive jealousy may feel consumed by their fixation on their partner’s past relationships.
For treatment to be successful, it is essential the person recognizes and takes responsibility for the issue.
Treatment may include medications, relationship counseling, and therapeutic interventions such as CBT, ERP, or ACT.
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