A person gaslights to obtain power and control, which are classic elements ofabuse.
Gaslighting often occurs in an intimate partner relationship.
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Where Does the Term Come From?
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Signs of Gaslighting
People who gaslight seek power and control.
They may have witnessed and learned gaslighting growing up, or they may have apersonality disorder.
Gaslighting occurs very gradually over time, so themanipulative behavior’seffects are not usually immediate.
This creates strong feelings of confusion,anxiety, discomfort, or powerlessness.
Examples of Gaslighting
Gaslighting is subtle, subversiveabusive behaviorthat may go on for years in long-term relationships.
One way to detect it is to observe patterns of behavior over time.
The following are a few examples.
Trivializing
People who gaslight will trivialize or minimize a person’s feelings to gain power.
Withholding
People who gaslight may withhold in the relationship.
The pattern of intermittent reinforcement is part oftrauma bonding.
Diverting
The person who gaslights will change the subject to divert attention from their behavior.
They may pretend not to understand, interrupt, or shut down the conversation.
Shifting Blame
A person who gaslights will shift blame to others to avoid responsibility.
Child-Parent Relationships
Gaslighting is often a learned behavior that children experience first at home.
Gaslighting can occur within the family system, between children and parents.
Political Gaslighting
Gaslighting can be a political strategy.
Why Gaslighting Works
Gaslighting works because it is subtle emotional abuse that happens gradually.
The behavior usually begins in a relationship where trust has already been established.
This makes them more dependent on the abusive person and less likely to leave the relationship.
The person being gaslit eventually becomes isolated,depressed, confused, andanxious.
If you are experiencing domestic violence, contact theNational Domestic Violence Hotlineat1-800-799-7233.
Gaslighting can manifest as lying, discrediting, blaming, trivializing, withholding, or diverting.
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National Domestic Violence Hotline.A deeper look into gaslighting.
