Sometimes, a person with dementia may even say something like, “I want my mom.
If this describes your loved one, you may not know how best to respond.
Sometimes family caregivers feel sad or even frustrated when this happens.
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These reactions are normal, especially when that desired person may have passed away many years ago.
This article will help you understand why this happens.
It will also help you to prepare some possible responses that may help your loved one in this situation.
Why Do People With Dementia Ask For Their Parents?
There are several reasons why someone with dementia may call out for their mother or father.
Understanding these underlying issues can help you respond with patience and compassion.
Additionally,memory loss in dementiaoften is such that more current memories fade first.
Think of a young child who wanders off in a store.
When children are lost and can’t find their parents, it can be disorienting.
What can you say to reassure and comfort the person?
Try these three approaches.
Validation
Validatethe person’s feelings by spending time with them, asking questions, and reassuring them.
you’re free to try something like this: “Hi Fran, are you looking for someone?
I heard you asking for some help.
Can I help you with something?”
Those memories may be enough to provide reassurance.
She died several years ago.”
Distraction
Try meeting your loved one’s needs by reassuring them in a different way.
Help them focus on something different and enjoyable.
Try this: “Can we go for a walk together?
I just really need to stretch my legs and I’m sure you do, too.
Let’s get some fresh air.
I always feel better after breathing deeply outside, don’t you?
Can I get you a cookie to enjoy outside, too?
I’m so thankful I can spend time with you.”
Sometimes,music therapyis a powerful tool to distract and comfort.
This happens because people with dementia lose their sense of time, place, and person.
In this situation, you might ask your loved one if you might help them instead.
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